The Life of a Bishop: Lucius' Diary
by Sword of Seals
Summary: SORRY PEOPLE! I HAVE NEGLECTED MY FFN ACCOUNT. Explanation inside. Lucius' Diary.Inspired by Ivanfanatic's Erk's Diary
1. Day 1 through 3

Hi there, this is Sword of Seals (from now on, I'm calling myself SOS) and this is my first Diary fanfic. It kind of sucks at first, but I hope it will get better.  
  
Lucius: Why are you writing a diary on me, why not Erk or Canas?  
  
Erk and Canas: Hey!  
  
SOS: Well, there are already too many Erk's Diaries and I haven't gotten Canas yet in my game. Does he come in Hectors story or something, because I went through Eliwood's and he wasn't in there.  
  
Lucius: Oh  
  
SOS: Ok, just for the record, for my tactician, I put my initials OAK, so if it looks weird, that's why. And I edited some of the conversations. On with the Fanfic!  
  
Lucius' Diary Day 1 Location: Inn Current feelings: Annoyed as hell  
  
Ok, I got good news and bad news. Good news, I finally quit that lousy monastery. I hated that bishop. He always told me to do the most impossible and worthless things. Well, I quit and now I am alone. This is heaven to me. No more monks, no more monasteries, no more bishops. The bad news, I have to stay at this inn. I will name three bad things about this inn.  
  
The innkeeper is an idiotic weirdo and overcharges for staying at the inn, 100 gold for a room. I would understand if it was luxury or something, but it's actually not.  
  
The inn is a rackety, smelly, overpriced mousetrap. I could have SWORN that I saw a family of mice being fed by the innkeeper.  
  
The two idiots next door. A boy and his older sister. They are a stupid bunch. The boy is an annoying moron who thinks his flute can do anything. He runs around the inn blasting at the top of his lungs IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I really just want to snap that thing in half.  
  
Right now, the kid is playing his flute in the excuse-for-a-snack-bar in this inn. I am leaving first thing tomorrow. Oh, and btw, I got this diary from the bishop at the monastery. He said that if I didn't, he would banish me to hell or something. I really don't care, because I really don't think I will see him ever again in my lifetime. I don't even know why I bother. Excuse me, but I believe I have a child to blast with Lightning.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk  
  
Day 2 Location: Outside the inn Current feelings: Thrilled blasting shamans, mercenaries, archers, mages, etc.  
  
Today when I woke up, I found Nils (That brat) moping in my room crying. I asked him to get lost and surprisingly he left. I asked the innkeeper what was Nils' problem and he said that the "Black Fang" kidnapped Nils' sister. I'm telling you, that was the happiest moment of my life. I followed Nils outside to rub it in is face. But he was talking to this girl with her entire leg showing. I followed him and right when I was about to say something, this happened:  
  
Girl: Hmm what's your name?  
  
Me: Lucius. I want to...  
  
Girl: Lucius? You want to help this child here? Great! Welcome! My name's Lyn!  
  
Me: but...  
  
Lyn: That's Ok! We'll pay you a large amount! How does 2000 gold a week sound?  
  
Me: Well, I, sure, why not?  
  
Lyn: Ok, let me show you around...  
  
So, she showed me around. First she showed me OAK, the "tactician" He gives ok advice I guess. Then, Kent and Sain, two cavaliers. They are supposed to be "Knights" (cough, cough) but only Kent acts like a knight. Sain, well, flirts. I punched him in the gut when he tried hitting on me. I swear, I need to cut this long hair. Then, there was Florina, a Pegasus "knight" from Ilia. She really shouldn't be called a knight. Looks like one good aimed Lightning blast would finish her off. Then, there is Will, an archer. He talks waaaay too much. I said he should really focus on shooting than talking, but did he listen? No. Next is Dorcas. He, well, doesn't talk. After that there is Serra. She is the sole person in the world who could talk over 5000 words per second. Peculiar, she looked at me with large hearts for eyes... I think I will stay away from her. And their last recruit is Erk. (A/N: Erk: Hey its me! Its me!) He really is sarcastic and spends most of his time reading. He seems the only decent one here. I have yet to decide. And last is NILS! No amount of money is worth this. Oh well, I signed a contract. At least I get money.  
  
Currently, I am on one of these missions and the mission is to kill Heintz, that shaman weirdo at the gate behind the mountains, which only brigands can go through. We have to go through the long way, which are conveniently filled with enemies. Ok, I better stop writing. OAK wants me to go after Heintz.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk  
  
Day 3 Location: Classified hiding spot Current feelings: afraid  
  
Right now, I am hiding somewhere that I will not mention in case Serra finds me. Ooooh, she scares the Holy Spirit out of me. She tries to use "Heal" on me far too many times. I hate that. Even if I am at full life, more heal. So, I hide. That annoying brat Nils is trying to find me for Serra's sake. Whenever he finds me, I cast Lightning and get in trouble. OAK found my diary and now he gives me extra money to write in it. Here comes Nils now...  
  
Nils: Ha! There you are, Lucius! Oh SER-uhhhh  
  
Me: (Finishes off a Lightning blast)  
  
Ninian: (We, um that Eliwood guy, rescued her) Nils! Don't bother Lucius like that! (Starts spanking him in the butt)  
  
Me: (Laughing my head off)  
  
That was definitely funny. Uh oh, OAK , the Diary police, is coming. I better wrap this up quickly. Sorry for the short entry.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk  
  
SOS: Yaay! Days one-three ^ ^ Erk: I made a brief entrance! But it was so dramatic! T_T Lucius: Yea, yea. Please don't humiliate me.... SOS: Good Idea Lucius: 0_0 SOS: It will wait, so until next time, tata!  
~Sword of Seals 


	2. Day 4 through 6

Hey there everyone, and now I am going to write days 4 to 6! Yaaaaaaaaaay! (Does a tap dance) Lucius: o.0 Ahem, yes. More humiliation for Lucius! Don't you love that?! Lucius: No Whatever, on with the fic! P.S. Reviews! Thank you everyone for telling me how to get Canas! I got him in Hector's story. Excellent. You're next Canas.... Canas: Eeeep To Ari: Thanks for, uh, liking my other fic! Yea! To Ivanfanatic: (looks at ch. 1 again) Holy cow, he does seem like Raven. Must have rubbed off on him. O.o To errr...(): Thank you. I needed that. It was a pain to keep those green idiots alive. They always went for the shamans!  
  
Lucius' Diary  
  
Day 4 Location: I lost track Current feelings: bored  
  
"Lyn's Legions" just paid me a handsome amount of gold. So I work harder now. I am now in this mission where we have to annihilate the enemy. There is this ballista over on the other side of a hill that I cannot get to and it is annoying. Since if that ballista hit me, I would take, oh, 15 damage, I have to go east and kill the mage and the shaman next to the village. But, whoever is in that ballista sure doesn't know how to freaking use it. The idiot just attacked the boss of this level. There was a large metallic sound and I heard nothing after that. OAK made me go into the village. It was very frightening:  
  
Me: (Goes to village) Hello, anybody there? (Suddenly, hears gunshots and wild rioting noises. I go around a corner to see the villagers celebrating, uh, something. Goes up to a villager) whats going on?  
  
Villager: Run! THERE GONNA KILL US!  
  
Me: ? (Goes into a building) Hello?  
  
Drunk Villager: Hahaahahhaaaaheeeheheeeeheee! (Takes gun) Happy New Year! (Fires gun) Happy 4th of July! (Fires) Merry Christmas! (Fires) Hahhahahahahaheee! (A/N: Don't ask how they got the guns, or how they know about Fourth of July. It's all for the sake of humor)  
  
Me: (Looks around, and finds villagers punching each other, throwing things, and hitting other people with inanimate objects, all while laughing maniacally. Looks at a man behind a table)  
  
Man: So, would you like pure alcohol? Tastes great!  
  
Me: (Sees Serra strip dancing. Realizes he is in a bar) O.O  
  
Serra: Oh Lucius! (Hiccup)  
  
Me: What the HELL are you doing here!?!?!  
  
Serra: I didn't get picked for the battle, so I came here (hiccups, faints)  
  
Me: I better be paid extra for this (grabs Serra and runs out the door. Bumps into the villager from before)  
  
Villager: Hey, are you here to help the village? (a guy gets thrown from the bar and lands in front of them. More gunshots are heard) Uh, don't even try. Here, take this and get out of here. (Gives Lancereaver) We don't need it  
  
Me: Thank you :-) (Carries Serra out of village)  
  
So yeah. Definitely frightening. I don't think I'll be going there for a while, probably never. Oh crap, Serra just woke up and is exclaiming how romantic this is. I'll have to wrap this one up.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk  
  
Day 5 Location: Rest stop Current feelings: Embarrassed and Angry  
  
Just my perfect luck. Serra is now re-telling the story about yesterday to the girls of our group in a whole new way. Listen to this:  
  
Serra: And then, I was being felt up by this drunk guy!  
  
Girls: (gasp)  
  
Serra: And then, Lucius, my knight in shining armor, went there and beat him up! And then he said, "Don't touch my Serra!" So then he picked me up and carried me out of there. I fainted in his arms and he didn't leave my side until I woke up!  
  
Girls: (sigh) How romantic!  
  
Lyn: (looks at Eliwood)  
  
Eliwood: I really don't like that look you're giving me...  
  
Florina: (glares at Heath)  
  
Heath: Wait, I'm not supposed to be here yet...  
  
OAK: You are in my other file. So you get to be here  
  
Rebecca: (stares at Will)  
  
Will: Mommy...  
  
Pricilla: (Looks at Erk)  
  
Erk: Back off (Thunder)  
  
Pricilla: (Fried)  
  
Girls: WHY CAN'T YOU BE AS ROMANTIC AS LUCIUS!  
  
Me: HEY! I AM NOT ROMANTIC! THE REASON THAT I CARRIED SERRA OUT OF THERE WAS FOR MORE MONEEEEY!  
  
Girls: (shut up)  
  
Serra: Lucius, is this true?  
  
Me: Yes  
  
Serra: You hate meeee (sniff)  
  
Me: and this is news to you how...  
  
Serra: WAAAAAAAH! (Cries)  
  
So, all of the girls hate me now and I honestly don't give. Just as long as I am Serra free, I will be fine. OAK is mad because Serra won't heal anymore. Oh well. That is what my vulnerary is for. Ok, that's a long entry. I'll call it a day.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk  
  
Day 6 Location: Some foggy place in Caelin Current feelings: Annoyed again. Well, I'm almost always annoyed  
  
All of the girls in our party are still mad at me. That's fine by me, because that means I don't have to protect the weak ones anymore. Hooray. We are plowing through this stupid fog and can't see a thing. I really am getting pissed at all of these enemies "appearing" out of the fog and attacking. OAK is currently forcing us into our guerrilla warfare positions, which means I have to guard Matthew, who can see through the fog. As long as I am not guarding Serra. Damn. There is that myrmidon again. There is this one particular myrmidon that seems to target only me. He hits me and hides in the fog. It goes like this:  
  
Me: (blasting a brigand)  
  
Myrmidon: Hi (sticks sword in my back) 4 damage! (Disappears)  
  
Me: (chases)  
  
Myrmidon: (appears behind me) boo (sticks sword in my side) 6 damage (disappears)  
  
So yeah. Finally, we got to Eagler and Erk, Wallace (a new recruit. Doesn't have a sign of hair on his head) and I finished him off. Lyn! Quickly seize the throne before the myrmidon shows up! Yes! I'm outta here. Good. The myrmidon was 4 spaces away from me. So, I guess that's it for this battle. I might as well finsih this entry as well. Serra's still crying. I am so happy.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk  
  
SOS: Ooooooh, Lucius you got a little mean there to Serra in the second entry.  
  
Lucius: Yeah, yeah. If she didn't lie, then she wouldn't be crying right now.  
  
SOS: I know you love her Lucius, maybe you should go comfort her! ;-)  
  
Lucius: Hey, what are you suggesting...  
  
Canas: SOS got me in his game! Yaaay!  
  
SOS: whatever, just cya later everyone.  
  
Erk: you forgot something  
  
SOS: Huh? Oh yeah, Tata!  
~Sword of Seals 


	3. Day 7 through 9

Hello again, sorry for the long wait, but I am back with maybe the last three entries in Lucius' diary. If you want me to keep going, please review! Also, I am suffering writer's block for The Trinity of Magic, so I need some Ideas! Thank you!  
  
Lucius: Hmmm, you said that I will miss writing in the diary. That is such a joke  
  
Shut up.  
  
Lucius' Diary  
  
Day 7  
  
Location: Inside an inn  
  
Current Feelings: Neutral, between happiness and fear  
  
We're in an inn not far from the castle . Right now I am actually happy for once. This means that after we kill Uncle Lundgreon (did I spell that right?) I get to go back to traveling. Sure, it is nice to get money for killing people, but then again, there is also a down side. One word: Serra. Now, she has found new hope in some of the Elimine scriptures. Listen to this:  
  
Serra: Hi Lucius! :-)  
  
Me: I have a bad feeling that you are concocting some plan to get me to marry you. Well you can forget it.  
  
Serra: But it's in the Elimine scriptures! Look at this! (Pulls out an old dusty book) See here! :-)  
  
Me: O.o (reads) It is customary for a Monk in his late teens to find a Cleric of almost the same age to marry. AAAAH!  
  
Serra: ^______^ Pucker up, Lucius! (turns around and tries to kiss air)  
  
Me: (gone)  
  
Oh my god, I had forgotton about all of these Elimine traditions. I better stay away from Serra for a long time. On another note, Lyn has been acting stranger than normal.  
  
Kent: Lady Lyndis?  
  
Lyn: I'll get you, Lundgreon!  
  
Sain: Ah, Lady Lyndis, would you care to have dinner with me?  
  
Lyn: I'm coming Grandpa!  
  
Sain: I'll take that as a yes! (drags Lyn)  
  
Lyn: AHA! There you are Lundgreon! (Equips Manni Katti and starts to chase Sain)  
  
Sain: AAAAH! HELP! HELP!  
  
Nobody is helping Sain. I can't imagine why. I have to sleep now. The final battle is tommorow and OAK wants us to get plenty of rest for tomorrow. So I guess the next entry will be the last. Ok, I'm done.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk  
  
Day 8  
  
Location: In front of Caelin Castle  
  
Current Feelings: Wet and cold  
  
This is so irritating. I am so close to the castle. Hopefully, we can kill Uncle Lundgreon and I can go back to wandering. I liked being alone and without in-Sain people. But if I can fluxing get to that fluxing castle to kill that fluxing general. I got fluxing from Erk's Diary. He apparantly has the same idea of things as I do. Anyways, it starts raining every 10 seconds, and when it rains I can only move 2 steps at a time. But what's happening to Lyn is hilarious. Uncle Lundgreon apparantly has the switch to turn on the rain.  
  
Lyn: Get your (bleep) over here, you (bleep)! I will beat down your (bleep) so hard, you son of a (bleep)! (stops raining) RAAAA! (Charges Lundgreon)  
  
Lundgreon: (snickers and turns on rain)  
  
Lyn: Oh (bleep) grrrr. (Rain goes off) ROOOOAAAAAAR! (charges again)  
  
Lundgreon: (snickers and turns on rain again)  
  
Lyn: ARRGH (bleep bleep bleep)  
  
It is funny, but my hair gets wet every two seconds. OAK now is making me blast down a snag with Erk so he could buy Thunder and I can buy Lightning. So now, we beat down another snag and Uncle is right there. Baldy goes to buy a Heavy Spear, and attacks and then we both attack with Thunder and Lightning. It worked well, and I am starting to think where OAK gets all of these ideas. Ah well, who cares we are having a party before we leave. Crap.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk  
  
Day 10  
  
Location: Party room in inn  
  
Current feelings: uneasy  
  
Lyn finally got to see her grandpa, and blah blah blah. We now have a party before we leave and everybody is drunk except for me and OAK. I am sitting in a corner and writing in this. That is because in the middle, everyone is strip-dancing, even Kent, who is normally so in control. I am having second thoughts of him. Serra is half-naked and Sain is touching every girl's butt and is still getting slapped each time. Lyn is howling like a wolf and glomping Rath like crazy. I don't even want to mention what Dorcas is doing. Ok this is too much for me.  
  
After this entry, I have to turn in my diary to OAK. He wants to study our thoughts during battle and so he can become a better tactition. So I guess this is my last entry. I just read the whole thing over and I realized how much I am going to miss writing in this diary. It really cleared my mind for battle. So, I guess for the last time, I'll end this entry. I will leave tomorrow at dawn.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk 


	4. Days 10 through 13

SOS: Whoohooo! After a month of absence, I am finally continueing the journal again! Yaay Me! (Starts doing that weird kick dance)  
  
Erk: -_-  
  
Lucius: -_-  
  
Canas: -_-  
  
SOS: Ah well, on!  
  
Canas: If you haven't figured out that SOS does not own Fire Emblem, you are pretty stupid.  
  
Day 11 (I am keeping in order even though it's been like a year)  
  
Location: Caelin Castle  
  
Current feelings: The feeling you get when you blast shamans to smitherines  
  
Yup, I'm back again. It's been a while since I wrote in this journal but I'm glad to do it. Today, some people broke into Caelin castle, people of Laus, and took it over. Me, Raven (a hyperactive mercenary who is obsessed with Ostia) and three Caelin soldiers survived. Then, more people broke in and Raven convinced a guard to let him go free:  
  
Raven: (jumping up and down and wetting himself) 'Ey, yoo dere. Let me outta this cell cause you' enemy be brother of Marquess Oostia. Aa can 'elp yoo if yoo let me outta 'ere! So, 'ow 'bout it?  
  
Laus person: Since I am so darn stupid, I didn't understand what you said. But I will let you out of here even though you will meet your sister, join forces with them, and help blondie in there out and then take over the castle again.  
  
The guy turned out to be right. Raven came pounding down the corridor again and gave me my diary and said 'OAK told yoo to wrayte in it.' So here I am picking apart shamans and cavaliers that come this way. Also, Lyn is no longer the leader of our group. Now it's Hector and Eliwood. We are now called "Eliwood's Elite" and "Hector's Heroes" (choke, cough, throw up). Here comes another cavalier. I'll stop for today.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk (I am still on the level that I left off on. Nice)  
  
Day 12  
  
Location: Still Caelin Castle  
  
Current feelings: Pissed  
  
Here we go again. Me and Raven have joined the group and learned about the Black Fang again. I heard a mention of them the mission I joined Lyn's group, but of course, none of our soldiers know about them. So we, stupidly if I say so, go after them. But on the bright side, most of the people from Lyn's Legions are back. Did I say bright side, I meant another dark side. Sain and Serra are back. But there are new people:  
  
Guy: Another hyperactive swordsman. Him and Raven are good friends, and they both shake a lot.  
  
Pricilla: Raven's sister. She seems squeeky, reminds me of Florina. But she acts all high and mighty and proper. Annoying  
  
Batre: Dorcas' friend. He and Dorcas have been singing "C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me, C is for Cookie..." All day long by the campfire. I MUST control my anger and annoyance right now.  
  
Ok, thats it. I have to drink some water. I heard it helps with anger  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk  
  
Day 13  
  
Location: Badon  
  
Current Feelings: Crappy  
  
Well, here we are at Badon, a port in which we will soon depart to Valor, a.k.a. The "Dread Isle" (ooh, I'm shaking in my... sandals... er... what am I wearing?). That is where Nergal is supposed to be waiting for us. OAK was hoping that we can find a ship that will give us passage to the Dread Isle because Dread Isle, is well an island, so we need a ship to get there (duh). Then, we met Fargus, a pirate who agreed to give us passage if we beat up his pirates and talked to him. Sure, it sounds easy. But suddenly, half way through the mission, a Paladin boss shows up and starts following us around. Someone who made this game hates us. On the way there, we meet Canas, a geeky shaman with a rather strange spectacle. What a nightmare:  
  
Canas: (fixing his spectacle) Hello there! You study magic to, huh?  
  
Me: Yeah. I use light magic. I take it since you're a shaman, you use dark magic.  
  
Canas: ( It's Elder magic! Not dark! Ugh! And it's far more fascinating than wimpy light magic!  
  
Me: Hey! (holds Lightning threateningly)  
  
Canas: TAKE THAT (fires flux)  
  
Me: (dodge, blasts with Lightning)  
  
Canas: Ow (Has 8 life left)  
  
So yeah. We had to retreat because that stupid boss paladin went and KO'd Canas: Stupid Boss. Now I have to go to the village and talk to Canas again. Crap. Man, my life stinks.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk  
  
SOS: There they are, the next three entries! Now to update my other fics... (starts doing that weird Kick-dance)  
  
Erk: Ughh. You have no dignity.  
  
SOS: I know (continues)  
  
Erk: -_- 


	5. Day 14 through 16

SOS: Here we go again with Lucius' Journal. I put in a Tactician's Guild Entry! I always wanted to do one ^_^.  
  
Canas: SOS does NOT own Fire Emblem or the Tactician's Guild. The Tactician's Guild belongs to Kate and Fire Emblem belongs to Nintendo. There.  
  
Day 14  
  
Location: In the middle of the ocean  
  
Current Feelings: Deja Vu  
  
This is starting to seem like Lyn's Legions all over again. Serra slapped me the other day because she thought that I was hitting on her when I was really ordering her to give me the Guilding Ring she found. I really am the only magic user who can use it, Serra is on level -328 and I don't think that is good enough. Canas is still on level 8, Pricilla is on level 7, Erk is on level 8, and I am on level 14. Another similarity is that there is another rather creepy shaman as a boss for this level, just like the shaman that was the boss when I first joined Lyn's Legions. Erk is also starting to have some "Private Sessions" with Pricilla, and I am deeply disturbed. Pricilla always starts giggling insanely all of a sudden. Did I mention I was disturbed? Pricilla stupidly went out to heal Lowen, who was right next to the boss, and the boss went over and damn near KO'd Pricilla with one hit. Erk stupidly went over there as well:  
  
Pricilla: OUCH! (1 life left)  
  
Shaman dude: You wimps are no match for me  
  
Erk: PRICILLA! I'm coming my love!  
  
Shaman dude: (turns around and KO's Erk with a critical Flux attack)  
  
Pricilla: ERKY! NO!  
  
Shaman dude: (points to Canas and glows with a black aura) You're next!  
  
Canas: (pisses in pants and jumps of ship and drowns)  
  
Eliwood was disgusted and called a retreat. We're going back to camp. Stupid Eliwood, why didn't he send me against the shaman? OAK kept telling him that. That shaman is on freaking level 18. I could have beaten him. Eliwood is a lousy General. Get it. Lausy. Ok, bad humor.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Monk (soon to be a Bishop)  
  
Day 15  
  
Location: On the Pirate ship again  
  
Current feelings: Lets just say I want to pull my hair out  
  
Grrr. If you haven't noticed, I am angry. Pricilla got Erk killed a couple dozen times. OAK is sick of it and instead of Pricilla he put in Guy, despite Guy's seasickness and Erk's complaints. Jeez, Erk. It was because of her you died a couple hundred times, this should be a freaking' blessing from St. Elimine! I am now convinced he has a death wish. Canas and Dorcas are telling about their wives and start crying. I kind of wish they DID stay with their wives.  
  
Turned out I was wrong about the creepy shaman boss dude. We sent our entire force at him and he KO'd everyone except for Lyn, Hector, Eliwood, and me. OAK got pretty desperate and sent Eliwood at him.  
  
OAK: (Pulling his hair out) Eliwood! Get over there!  
  
Eliwood: FEAR MY RAPIER OF DOOM! (dies) Mother... Father... Please for-  
  
Lyn: We get the idea, Eliwood.  
  
So here we are again. How come we can't even hold on for 11 measly turns? It doesn't seem like much. That's enough  
  
Lucius, Elimine Bishop (Yaaay!)  
  
Day 16  
  
Location: Tactician's Guild  
  
Current Mood: Er...  
  
Now this is awkward. Everybody started moaning today on how they were sick of the pirates singing "A pirates the life for me" and got kind of grossed out that in moonlight, they turn into skeletons and say they have to break the curse by gathering all of these Amazon gold pieces and getting the blood of "Turner." We also got sick of Guy puking all over everyone's weapons.  
  
So, OAK got an idea and pulled out a curious tiny roundish box thing that he flipped opened and started punching buttons. I think he called it a sell fone or something like that. Then, another tactician with a sell fone came up. I don't think Erk was too happy to see her.  
  
Tactician: Hi! Nice to see you again OAK!  
  
OAK: Good to see you too Kate!  
  
Erk: NOOOOOO! HIDE ME!  
  
So, Kate led us through the Nabata desert, across the frozen part of the world, made us swim across the ocean to reach a... treehouse. Yes, a treehouse which Kate proudly announced as the Tactician's Guild. Yeah... whatever. So we go into the... treehouse... and all hell breaks loose. I am sitting on top of the refrigerator thing and writing. Why? This:  
  
Hector: (chasing Lyn)  
  
Lyn: (chasing Eliwood)  
  
Eliwood: (chasing himself)  
  
Serra, Rebecca, Ninian: I'm a barbie girl, In a barbie world...  
  
Dorcas, Bartre: Macho, macho man. I wanna be, a macho man...  
  
Marcus, Oswin: C is for cookie, that's good enough for me, C is for...  
  
Erk: (chasing Kate with a frying pan)  
  
Kate: (running from Erk)  
  
Erk: (hits Kate with frying pan)  
  
Kate: OUCH! BAD ERKY! SIT!  
  
Erk: (dog whimper)  
  
OAK, Raven, Matthew: (watching Spongebob) Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob... Squarepants!  
  
Nils: (runs around polishing his flute) Myyyyyy Preeeeciouuus!  
  
Pricilla: Erky! Where are you, my love!  
  
Erk: I'm right here precious!  
  
Kate: BAD ERKY! MASTER NEVER SAID SPEAK! SIT!  
  
Erk: (dog whimper)  
  
Nils: MYYYYYYY PREEEEEEECIOOOOOOOOUUUUUS!  
  
Athos: (warps to Tactician's Guild) Shut up you damn kids! I can't get any sleep you whippersnappers!  
  
So yeah. I hope it isn't like this at the Tactician's Guild all the time. I'm tired.  
  
Lucius, Elimine Bishop  
  
SOS: There it is! Please R&R! It makes me so happy!  
  
Erk: Why do I love Pricilla?  
  
SOS: I read your support with her! It's beautiful! (sniff)  
  
Erk: Whatever. (goes back to reading Compositional Theory of Anima Magic, Vol 9)  
  
SOS: So, until next time! Bye!  
  
~Sword of Seals 


	6. Day 17 through 19

SoS: SORRY EVERYBODY! I've once again neglected my Fanfiction account, and I'm sorry! I've been spending most of my Internet time on the Merlinus' Tent forums.Just to let you guys know, Lucius' Diary is back on!

Lucius: Yaay!

SoS: And I'll TRY a LITTLE bit harder to make Lucius a little better in character.

Erk: (Reads Below) Apparently you didn't try very hard.

SoS: Quiet Erky. And Disclaimer man!

Canas: SoS does not own Fire Emblem. The idea of making a Fire Emblem Diary belongs to Kate (Ivanfanatic)

Day 17   
Location: On Fargus' Ship (once again)   
Current Feelings: Elimine grant us a miracle

Here we go again. After the random insanity at the Tactician's Guild, We are back on the road (or ocean I should say). Back on this ship. Matthew took half of my paycheck when I was distracted (Raven was throwing another anti-ostian tantrum) and now he won't give it back. Eliwood and Fargus are talking about something on the other side of this ship. I can't stand Guy puking all over my Elimine scriptures. Ok, now Matthew is taking this a bit to far. He took the other half of my paycheck.

Me: (watching Eliwood and Fargus and trying to read their lips)   
Matthew: (steals 100 gold)   
Me: RAVEN!!!!

Raven wasn't exactly too happy with Matthew. Three reasons why:

1. Matthew took my gold   
2. Matthew took Raven's paycheck two days ago   
3. Matthew is an Ostian spy

Heh, I kind of feel sorry for Matthew now. He escaped with one hp left and was taken into the care of (shudder) Serra. At least Serra is leaving me alone for now. You know, this Raven threat thing is pretty cool. Maybe I sould use it more often... Well, got to leave. Erk is shooing me away because he wants to show Pricilla the view of the ocean. GAG

Lucius, Elimine Bishop

Day 18   
Location: Dread Isle   
Current Mood: Must... stay... sane

Yeah. So we finally beat the Shaman dude's team (After 42 tries) and finally land on Dread Isle, where we promptly get attacked (Surprise). We don't even get a break. Well anyways, Uhai decides to show up out of the fog and threaten the whole group. NOTE: Stay away from Erk. There is a monk that will not leave him alone.

Erk: (twitch twitch)   
Stupid Monk: (appears out of the stupid fog) GO TO HELL MAGE!   
Erk: I AM A SAGE GOD FLUX YOU!! (elfire, elfire, elfire, elfire, etc.)

And I thought Lyn had a temper problem. And if Sain doesn't stop hitting on me, I think I am going to explode!!!!

Sain: Ah, fair maiden, may you grace me with your beloved company   
Me: Sain..............   
Sain: Oh, I forgot you are a guy. Maybe I should just leave..(Starts backing away)   
Me: GoodIdeaSain (twitch)

I am struggling to keep my sanity. Right now we are in the middle of a battle, in the middle of a cursed island, in the middle of some thick fog where you can't see your hands in front of you, and Kent has us sit there and wait for the enemy to come to us. Maybe we should ask Erk to just Elfire the entire Island. Saves time. And I have to review some scriptures.

Lucius, Elimine Bishop

Day 19   
Location: Dread Isle   
Current Mood: I hate Uhai

Well, we finally started going somewhere (Kent was distracted by Fiora coming from nowhere) and Here I am with Lowen, Erk, Canas, Guy, and Raven going east and then south where Uhai is supposedly waiting for us... IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST. Sain is up to his old antics again and this time Florina was his goal/target/victim. Unfortunately for him, Fiora and Kent were there and Fiora equipped herself with an Axereaver and nearly skewered the helpless man. Apparently, Fiora is Florina's sister. Erk and Canas came up with the "Formula" for Sain:

knight Obsession over Ladies Lyn Hausen Sain

Yep, and it fits too. Well... at least I think it does. Don't look at me, I'm a monk not a mathmetician. If you want someone to do your math homework (OAK) go to Erk or Canas.

Speaking of Oak, the brainless fool just got Fiora in range of Uhai's bow. RIP. And if he calls me "Lucy" one more time, I am going to get a serious migrain. Too bad Aspirin isn't invented yet.

Lucius, Elimine Bishop

SoS: Alrighty then! If you want more frequent updates, go to my Greatest Journal Account. . You'll find more frequent updates there.


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